by Joana Wong

“Now, should I mark I’m Hispanic or Asian?”

I never know what box to check. It gets even harder to choose one or the other when some Hispanics don’t even think you classify as one. And then the Chinese don’t think you’re Chinese either: “What? You don’t know how to play Mah Jong? What? You don’t speak Chinese?”

So, how do was I going find peace with my identity, whichever it was?

I did a few things. On one side, I started learning Chinese and studying the origins of Buddhism and Taoism. On the other side, I started going to casino style salsa classes. But there has always been one thing that ties both of my cultural heritages together: hot sauce. Picante. 辣 (là).

Food without hot sauce is not food, not for me. Food without flavor is only a digestible good – not one that will enrich my soul or make my taste buds explode with flavor. To me, food is sacred and a part of who I am. Who I am as an Asian, when I decide to eat mustard leaves and noodles, and who I am as a Panamanian, when I’m presented with ‘arroz con pollo,’ come together thanks to both cultures’ affinities to hot sauce. Yum. It’s so good I’m not restricted to only one cultural heritage.

As a descendant of Chinese who grew up in the Caribbean coast, I ate ‘picante’ since I was little. I think my fondness of ‘picante’ began when I was five years old. I was a little too much of a big girl to keep sucking on my thumb, so my mom started dipping it in hot sauce. What good did it do? It only made me get used to the spiciness.  From then on, I put spice on everything – but not only on food.

My hips follow the rhythm of salsa, even when I’m cleaning the house. My Spanish only pronounces slang, words so locally and culturally charged, they’re only understood by other Panamanians. My embraces inspire warmth, as I greet people with a kiss on the cheek and a smile. ‘Picante’ translates itself into my definition of being a China-Panameña.

But that’s enough talking about me. Share with us, what is the one thing would you use to describe your own heritage?